Needy has never been a word that I use to describe myself. Perhaps I am (readers - feel free to chime in here). The connotations of the word cause me to push it away - to become someone who is not needy and can do things "all on my own." Just like a 2 year old trying to dress herself. People pleaser is another word that it hard to use to describe myself. Yet, so valid. But it was not until it was pointed out that I was able to consider and accept its usage. Just like a 5 year old wanting to be liked in kindergarten.
Confession: I'm seeing a therapist. again. I must have problems b/c she had me schedule appointments into April. It is also hard to get the 5pm time slot. People pleaser bit - that came from her - loud & clear.
My assignment for this week was to think about my needs, and how my current life fits my needs. It has been incredibly difficult to figure it out. I realized that I have spent most of my life trying to make everyone around me happy that I'm not really sure what makes me happy anymore. I also discovered that I am involved in activities that I don't really enjoy but feel obligated to participate. They're all good things of course and were enjoyable at some point in my life. I know that my current life somewhat fits my needs, but obviously not completely.
I know a few needs: I enjoy solitude, creative arts of all sorts, and variety. And I know a few things I don't need: lots of money, a successful career, outside entertainment. And so readers, I ask for some help - what are needs that you have seen me express in our friendships? good, bad or neutral - feel free to let me know.
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2 comments:
I don't know the answer to your question, but after having the courage to post what you did, you deserve comments!! I wish you a good journey in figuring out what makes you tick and how to be happy. If there is anything I can do (I'll have lots of time on e-mail if you need a sounding board!), do let me know. I do know that I find a lot of peace at church and in what we learn there. That's maybe an idea?
Thanks for your comments! The one about finding peace at church is so true. Thanks for the encouragement.
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