#Reverb10: Prompt 11, the blog-along - October Update

October has been a month of autumn weather - the end of the garden, starting of soup season.   It is time to make another update to the #Reverb10 prompt for the blog-along with  MathNerd314 and chemgal18.  

Here is the prompt for those who may have missed the first post:
What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011?
How will you go about eliminating them?
How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

Not only is October symbolic of the upheaval in nature, it feels like it has also been an upheaval of my life and how I perceive myself. A really bad (in the needs to improve way) review at work is turning into something much bigger. It was the realization that a lot of my identity is tied into my work. I enjoy getting the affirmations of a job well done and want to do my best. And the discovery that my best is not good enough is disheartening and tear inducing. The last two weeks have felt like one failure after another in terms of not being accurate enough, not being fast enough, and not being detail oriented enough. I feel like I'm being fed to the wolves of miscommunication, misunderstanding, and mistaken identity. I've been second-guessing my decision to switch jobs and things seemed to be okay for the first few months and now the other shoe has dropped and this is how life really works in this department. I keep telling myself that I've only been in this current job 6 months and they said it would take at least a year to learn everything. I want to do a good job, fit in with the department and not let them down but I want to be supported and given the tools I need. 

A friend just posted the following on facebook and I think it needs to be my motto for November:

"Lots to think about, nothing to worry about."

One Wise Woman I talked with asked me how much my personal worth is tied to my job. My answer to that (quite a bit) was an eye opener as that is not the healthiest place to base my worth. I am worthwhile as a human being, as a woman, and a child of God. It is time to shift my thinking and act like I think it is true.