The Joy in Confession

Welcome to the the April post of the Journey through 2013 blog along.  And once again, I am late in getting this posted.  As mentioned previously, the purpose is to commit to a purposeful exploration of some facet of your life and then write about one aspect each month. Thanks to Mathnerd for joining in the fun!

April's theme is Easter. Culturally, most people see Easter as a one day or one weekend event. But in the Catholic church it is also a season, the six weeks following the Easter (or Resurrection day.) It is a season of celebration and joy as we commemorate the time that Christ walked the earth after that first East Sunday. The music is joyful and spirits seem lighter. Latin is once again introduced into the Liturgy.Over the past week, I've been pondering what to write about this month that expresses my experience Easter week.

And it starts with confession, My First Confession. I have been dreading going to confession for months. A couple of weeks before Easter, I reconsidered my decision to join the Catholic church because the thought of going to confession was petrifying and terrifying despite all reassurances from my Catholic friends that it was not that big of a deal. So I begged my lovely sponsor to stand in line with me to make sure that I didn't run out of the church before making it into the Confessional! A few readers are probably snickering but that was the level of my fear - mainly of the unknown and the vulnerability of sharing sins with another person (even though that person represents Christ.)

So the Monday before Easter I bravely made my way to the church, knelt in prayer contemplating my sins and then waited for my turn. And waited. And waited.  Finally, it was my turn and I walked into the confessional, shut the door and suddenly my mind was completely blank - all the sins I planned to confess having fled my memory. Luckily, the priest helped me along and I was able to remember my sins and make my first confession, receive absolution and a penance. As I walked out of the confessional and down to the front of the church to kneel and say my penance prayers it seemed as if a weight lifted off my shoulders. There was an incredible sense of freedom and release that I no longer carried my sins.

As a protestant, it seemed odd for Catholics to confess their sins to another human since we can go directly to God through Jesus. And that is true. But I know that in the past, sometimes I wondered if my sins were truly forgiven and it was hard to keep from sinning again. But my first confession taught me that the Roman Catholic Confession is a tangible manner of confession to God through Jesus where a priest represents Jesus. Incredibly powerful and freeing.

The joy of that moment stayed with me that entire Easter week - at times I felt weightless. Confirmation during the Easter Vigil was profoundly heart and mind changing.

I am now a Roman Catholic.

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Journey into Catholicism

Jan - Epiphany
Feb - Love
March - Lent
April - Easter
May -Pentecost
June - Birthday Bliss
July - Saint Day
August - Sunshine
September  - Anticipation of Waiting
October - Tears
November - Winter
December - Advent / Christmas