Thursday, March 6, 2014

The Beginning of My Year of Risks

My grand intention with taking 14 risks during 2014 was to blog at the end of each month. Considering that it is now early March and this is my first post, obviously my original plan did not work out. Thankfully only one person has called me out on my delinquency.  Today seemed like a good day to get the first post written as I am currently home sick from the seemingly ever-lasting cold, waiting for the nurse to call back. I'm trying to decide if a visit to the doctor is in order or just continue the regimen of sleep, cold/cough medicine, warm honey water, and knitting.

During January, I thought a lot about 2014 and the risks to take this year. The options seem endless - going parasailing (life risking!), embracing my singleness and doing something solo when I'd prefer company, or even reaching out to an old friend to reconnect.

Sometimes a chance conversation will lead to an opportunity that initially sounds intriguing and exciting but in reality ends up being a regret. In January, a conversation led to a potential part-time job opportunity. Initially, it sounded really interesting and something that I should pursue further. So I said YES, I am interested in learning more. Over the next few days, as I considered it further, dread and regret began to set in and I realized that it was not really the kind of opportunity I wanted to pursue. So a week later, I said NO to the opportunity.
The risk? Looking foolish for changing my mind and saying no to something to which I had originally said yes. Yet, I only felt relief with the revised decision.

 In January, I reached out to a friend to reconnect. It had been a while since we talked and I was not fully sure how my attempt to reconcile would be received. Thankfully, the other individual was relieved that I had taken the first step and initially it seemed as if we would be able to set aside our differences and instead look for the common. Unfortunately, it has become clear over the past couple of weeks that we are in difference places. Where I see an abundant in common, the other person sees the vast differences. It hurts to realize that all my effort was just that - MY effort. For all friendships and relationships require effort from each individual to avoid a one-sided situation where one individual does all the work to keep connected. For while I was trying to make things work, the other person was letting go of our friendship. Yes, it hurts but I am thankful for the opportunity to find closure.
The risk? Reaching out first to reconcile differences and then letting go when it becomes clear the other person is not interested in continuing the friendship.

On Tuesday, I took myself out for dinner. I was tired after a long weekend away celebrating my cousin's wedding and wanted something easy for dinner. So I grabbed my kindle and walked down the street to a little restaurant in my neighborhood. Sitting at the bar by the window, I read a book while eating dinner.
The risk? Eating out in a restaurant solo instead of going out with a friend.

The year will continue on and I will take more risks - both large and small. 

The 2014 Risks
1) Saying No, instead of saying Yes.
2)  Reconciling differences with a friend
3) Accepting that sometimes it is best to let go
4) Dinner on my own with a book

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