I prefer to pray in a church with stained glass, kneelers, and awesome praise music with people who welcome, care & accept me. The last part is more important to me than I realized or expected. My experience at Mount Holyoke spoiled me in terms of fellowship. There I was, 3,000 miles from home, surrounded by women who loved Jesus and loved and accepted me despite all my (many) faults! I was challenged intellectually and spiritually to make a decision regarding faith. Would it be included in my daily life or allowed to fall by the wayside?
Including my faith in everyday life was my choice that has reaped many benefits over the years. I've attended several churches through my years where I experienced God in different ways: casual, reverent, angry, merciful, and gracious. There would be a huge empty hole without God in my life.
Yet, my experience of God is not perfect. There are Sundays when I attend church and feel lonely. As an introvert, it is hard for me to get to know other folks who attend. I hate the "fellowship" hour because it doesn't seem to allow for conversation beyond the superficial. And it seems so overwhelming with so many different potential conversation options, uncertaintly of commonalities, and the little people running
Unfortunately, I have not found a long term small group where I seem to fit. Perhaps I'm expecting too much. Perhaps I need to look deeper. I would love a group that doesn't segregate on gender,age, marital or parental status. A group where each member is first human with all the inherent challenges therein and welcomed in their current state. Sometimes, it seems like this is a dream just beyond my grasp. Slowly the void of local Christian fellowship in my life is growing larger. Yet, I cannot seem to do anything to close the gap. Over the years, I've tried to no avail.
In a perfect world, I would pray with others.
I’m blogging along with Mathnerd today (and several times this month). Check out what she’d be!
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