Am I the bitter woman?

Proverbs 30: 21 - 23 

"There are three things that make the earth tremble - no, four it cannot endure: 

A slave who becomes a king, 

an overbearing fool who prospers,

 a bitter woman who finally gets a husband, 

a servant girl who supplants her mistress."

As I read these verse, the third item jumped out at me and caused me to pause and wonder - am I a bitter woman? Am I clinging to my singleness as a sign that God does not love me? Will the earth tremble when I finally get married and have a husband to call my own? Am I doing things to meet other young single Catholics? Am I listening to God and his plan for my life? 

As I pondered these thoughts, something else came to mind: maybe my singleness IS a sign that God loves me. So I considered what would my life be life if I married any of the young men I've dated and grew very thankful. Yes, I would have been married but I would have been unhappy. 

• Mid-west guy would have meant giving up of myself because he wanted things his way. 
• Aussie guy would have tried to control me and  trim my wings to prevent me from flying.
• Artist would have meant working to support someone who didn't want to work for a good life.

In considering each of these potential fates, I have to accept that my singleness is a sign that God loves me. It may not seem that way during the dark, lonely hours of the night. Another thought reminds me that I had rebelled against God's initial nudging to join the Roman Catholic church many years ago. Perhaps this long time of singleness is a direct consequence of that decision. There is no guarantee that love will come to my life once I have completed the Rites of Initiation. 

But I can trust that no matter what happens God is still God. He is still sovereign even when evil seems to prevail. He does have a plan for my life - even if I choose to get in His way and make a mess of my own life thinking that I am helping.

I am comforted by the thought that as long as I choose to be content with my life, I can know that I am NOT the bitter woman.